Hello Lovelies,
Now before people see this and think I'm crazy, I have to say this: I am. Ok. Read on.
From a young age I was always told that I have to be a good Christian and love Jesus and be a good girl. I was always told that sexuality wasn't anything to embrace until marriage and even then only in the bedroom and only with your heterosexual partner. Another thing I was told was that I had to look good so that people saw my family a certain way - basically that we were perfect. When I acted in a way they didn't tell me I should or if I thought differently than they told me I should, then I was being a "follower" and was just listening to everything that my friends said and that the public school system was forcing it's "secular agenda" on me. Anyways... you get the idea. I was being forced to form to an image of someone that was not who I really was.
Now that I am an adult, I have the courage to say that I wasn't that person. I wasn't happy being that person. It was not a healthy thing for me to be that person. When I was 15 I started having sex and when my first and I broke up I started sleeping around. Luckily I realized a friend of mine since I was 13 (I was 17 at this time) was someone to build a life with. We are married now but before then he deployed overseas (he was in the military) and I moved in with his family, then in with my parents again, then up to Washington with a friend, then back to my parents place before moving out officially when I got married. When I moved out I started mutilating my hair, drinking and smoking and smoking weed - something I would never have done back then nor is it something I'd tell them I do now.
Now, the point. Miley Cyrus is someone that I can empathize with. She grew up having to play the part of good girl Hannah Montana for Disney Channel and as soon as she ended that contract she got to acknowledge that she wasn't happy and she wasn't that person. She was then out of the spotlight. Now, I think, she got passionate about helping the LBGTQ community and the troubled and homeless teens in this country but she knew that nobody would notice her screaming about her foundation (Happy Hippie) if she didn't do something drastic to get back into the public eye. This is when she created the New Miley Cyrus. The one who was overtly sexual, did drugs, acted out, and was in general a "bad influence". But in the end, she got what she wanted: her voice back but this time with her own words.
Here's the thing people: Miley did what she knew she needed to do to survive and create a new person from who she used to be. She had to find a way to force the world to see her the way she wanted them to. I feel like lately I have had to do that too. I have had to force people around me to see me as the person I am. I admire the courage she had to go wild and not allow people to force her into the mold that they cast for her. While I may not be going nearly as wild as she did - mainly due to being poor as fuck - but I want to say "fuck it" to all the people in this town that I'm back being stuck in (where I grew up) and recreate myself. I may have to literally say "fuck you" to people I used to know in order to move forward. I may have to keep my colorful hair and embrace that I enjoy it instead of let people tell me that I look like shit. Because you know what? Fuck those people.
It's a weird rant I think... but I really do admire her.
Thanks for letting me word vomit.
XOXO - Sarah
